Like sunflowers, we are always turning toward the sun. We may not know it, we may feel as though we are lost in the dark, but even underground we are always turning toward the sun. As the earth rotates west to east, we also turn toward the sun, in our yearnings and in the directional pull we feel within us. This inner pull is always toward the east, the place of sunrise, the place of the light that is the source of life. Our deepest longing is to get to the source of life, and this is symbolized by the sun. And for life on earth, the sun is not just a symbol of the source of life and light, but also the actuality.
Things fall apart in order to regroup, fruit gives way at its ending to seed. And in the dark underground, the seed somehow feels the pull of the sun and sprouts upward toward the light. All the myths and legends of descent underground and reemergence into the world reflect this reality of loss and return, of descent that leads to transformation, a new beginning, and finding our way into the light again. One of the ways we experience this descent is when we recognize that what we thought would bring fulfillment and happiness is not what we hoped it would be. In the collapse of expectations and hope, we descend into a place that feels dark. But in that underground realm, our inner compass rearranges and what is within us realigns, so that when we emerge we can go more surely toward the east, toward the sun of love, realization, and compassion.
The sun we turn to is not only outside or above, but also inside and within, underneath the layers of thoughts and ideas. In our mind’s eye we see with the inner light, which is not only that by which we see, but also that toward which we journey. When we’re in darkness, the light of awareness is looking, shining on that darkness. Without that light of mind we would have no awareness of dark as dark or light as light. That light, that awareness, is always within us. That light of awareness is the light within the light, and it is never not here.
Though we may seek the sun, our inner source and love and nourishment, in ways that do not satisfy that yearning, even those detours and blind alleys lead us on to the next step. As we persevere and continue, as we turn again and again more and more consciously toward the sun, more and more light is reflected from where we are. And more and more we are graced with a deeper and more visible awareness that no matter what, no matter where we are or what we’re looking at, the sun is always here.
© 2021 Shanti Natania Grace
Art by Vincent van Gogh
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